Sunday, September 27, 2009

The School Bully

My son is coming to six and had just entered year 1 primary not too long ago at a local International school. We thought we had prepared him well enough by coaching him with encouragement and psyching him up about the fun activities in school, after all, he loves to learn. In fact, when day one arrive, he trotted right into school, participated like he should and then a week or two later, disaster. He didn’t want to go into school, held on tight to us, and started giving us excuses like ‘tired’ or ‘sleepy’ and just plain refusing to go to school. My wife, a JI earth person, just kept insisting something is triggering his behavior, me, a REN water person, kept looking for ways to get him to school. When you take a step back at look at our ACTIONS, you see how ones actions correlate to their Bazi chart!

Anyway, as we slowly got our son’s confidence up by working his EXTREME EATING GOD element (he is extremely competitive) and promising him the sky, moon, and the SUN (this one the teachers’ did) (They had some kind of a competition to collect SUNs and CLOUDS depending whether you are good boy or naughty boy, he got back to his normal self). He had also revealed that he didn’t like some people in the class and during break time that would literally BULLY him. I can imagine how terrifying this would be for a six year old if a boy, older than you would do pull your hair, kick you, chase and scratch you during recess! My JI earth wife has yet to catch the older boy (he wouldn’t reveal who he is) but we already know who is the disruptive one in the classroom as all the moms are also concerned about this particular boy’s behavior. My wife found his birth date and asked me to do an analysis on him. Without the birth time, you cannot really get the complete picture, but you can almost see why a person behaves the way he behaves based on the chart. I think this is even more evident when he or she is a child, because they have not adequately developed that ability to mask their expressions yet.

This is that boy’s chart (minus the birth time).

Read any Chinese metaphysics book and you realize that a GUI WEI (Water GOAT) person is a very soft, gentle person. This boy’s daymaster is ding fire, another very sentimental element. Even though this is only 75% of his chart, it is all YING elements. It doesn’t seem possible that this boy can be the ‘disruptive’ boy that he is made out to be. What is giving rise to this behavior? When you think further, behavior is HUMAN ACTION. And we act out a specific NEED. Let’s relook at the chart, but this time consider the 10 year LUCK PILLAR GENG SHEN (METAL Monkey) as well as this pure earth YEAR of Ji Chou.

EVERY single element is countering the single DING fire daymaster. The strong earth weakens the fire, the gui water tries to put it out by controlling it, and ding fire is trying hard to forge all the metal elements around him (including the luck pillar) thus weakening him further. Furthermore the OX and the GOAT clashes effective his OUTPUT (Eating God) as well as his secondary resources (Yi wood) and friends (ding fire) which are so important for the fire to thrive. Imagine you are the little fire, how would you behave!

So, if you were the parent of this child what could you possibly do? Immediately, you would know that WOOD is the most important element to him as resource strengthens fire. If I were a traditional Chinese parent, WOOD = CANE. That probably would have happen in a public/Chinese school system. But wood can represent other actions, like compassion, patience, growth, tolerance etc. I see the class teacher showing all attributes and that’s good. But most important of all, is the element of TIME. Next year another element comes into his life. It’s a Geng Tiger year. The primary element for the TIGER is wood. I think you’ll see this boy better behave and a little more focused on his work in school. If not, than maybe the CANE would work.


Anonymous said...

Would it be fair to say that at the moment, he is acting more like a Xin than a Ding and next year will be a Ding again with the help of Yin?

Chris Chan said...

Not entirely sure if he's acting like a Xin or whether you can relate it that way.

Josephine said...

I think the boy is also seeking the attention of his mother with his bullying behavior. The Chou~Wei clashes on year and day branch indicates some big movement in his life. e.g. shifted home from far away places or transfer from other school etc.

The Gui (7K) is released out in the clash indicates that instead of the attention of the mother that he want, now the teacher pay more attention to him. This irritates him further.


Anonymous said...

This boy do not have resource star to teach the boy what is proper behaviour - blame it on his mother :)


Anonymous said...

If everything is predestined how can u blame the mum? It's not as if the mum removed the primary resource from the chart right?